Question: What did your burnout feel like?

"Burnout felt like being in quicksand – the more you move the deeper you sink"

As a burnout coach and researcher, I've seen and collected many answers to this common question. What I've found is that, while everyone's life circumstances and their experience of burnout are unique – at the same time, looking across a large enough swath of people reveals clear patterns and similarities in how burnout is described.

Irritability and short fuse

Especially at the more shallow end of burnout can come feelings of being easily triggered, crying at small things, or snapping at people who don't deserve it. Several people mentioned becoming unrecognizable to themselves in how reactive they'd gotten. People describe this as:

• "Short temper, sensitive, irritable, all or nothing thinking, not being able to rest."

• "Feeling tired, easily triggered, lacking patience or compassion, physically unable to handle anything because I'm wasting all my energy just trying to make it through the work day and still breaking down and crying multiple times a day."

• "Being so exhausted that everything triggers you and very few things motivate you."

• "Quickly annoyed or upset at even the smallest setbacks."

Exhaustion that rest doesn't fix

A very frequent trend revolves around a sense of deep fatigue that goes beyond regular tiredness – the kind of exhaustion where rest stops working. It's not that you need more sleep – it's that sleep has stopped doing what sleep is supposed to do. This looks like:

• "Being pushed to the point of exhaustion, and any attempts to recharge are no longer effective."

• "No amount of rest days or holidays or self care seems to help to feel rested and relaxed."

• "Not recovering by resting, and being constantly exhausted."

• "Exhausted even after sleep, no energy, not sleeping well, disconnected from myself."

Feeling totally empty, or numb

A commonality of people who went through a deeper burnout is the absence of feeling altogether. This isn't just low energy – it's as if a hollow space takes over where your emotions used to live. People said:

• "Dead inside - just ashes."

• "I can't feel anything, also only feel physically exhausted and sick."

• "I feel nothing. Have no joy, no aspirations. I feel braindead."

• "Emotional and mental voidness, physical exhaustion. Not present."

Feeling brain-dead

Then there's the commonality of cognitive collapse. It's as if your brain is so filled with stress that it stops cooperating and starts malfunctioning. This includes not only mental motivation and will, but also brain fog, forgetfulness, not being able to think clearly, and a loss of ability to perform tasks that used to be automatic. Quotes from people include:

• "Completely gone. I can't perform basic tasks like reading or even keeping up in [work] conversation."

• "Brain just doesn't want to 'brain.'"

• "Performing basic tasks—that took 5 minutes, now hours and I have no desire."

• "An overpowering feeling of brain fog, exhaustion, lack of concentration and lack of focus and procrastination."

Existential doubt

A lot of people describe a loss of self that goes beyond feeling dissatisfied with work, and extends into existential territory. People describe not recognizing themselves anymore—an identity crisis layered on top of the burnout. People said:

• "I don't know who I am anymore."

• "Losing my zest for life, my identity being ripped apart and feeling hopeless to get back to performing where I was."

• "Getting tired of everything, to the point of slowly losing myself."

• "Loss of self."

Body's circuit breaker

Especially for intense burnouts, a common outcome is a visceral, physical response or fear. It's like the ongoing stress and pressure has short-circuited the body, sending urgent, intense signals and throwing the mind into a panic. People explain:

• "Feeling like I'm going to die soon."

• "Exhausted physically ill feeling dread at the thought of work."

• "A complete shutdown my body is doing to just stop me in my tracks."

• "Burnout is a new set of limitations that my body is putting on me that I can't ignore. My body is shutting down mentally and physically."

Feeling trapped

And finally, there's the trapped feeling:

• "The more I try to dig myself out of a hole... the deeper I fall."

• "Mental confusion, as if you are in quicksand and the more you move the deeper you sink."

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Overall, the same pattern repeats: something that's supposed to work has stopped working, and the usual fixes aren't fixing it; and that creates a feeling of despair, confusion, and anxiety.